"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." - C. S. Lewis

At first, comparing myself to an egg sounded rather silly. But I kept the quote because 1) I liked the thought of "hatching or going bad" and 2) he said jolly. I mean, really, how can you not like a quote that has "jolly" in it. Or "bugger." That's another good word.

Anyway, the point of the quote was finding one that reminded me of why I'm turning my life upside down and inside out all at the same time. I mean, these are some major changes: breaking up with a boyfriend of one and a half years, giving my dog (who's crazy, but loveable as well...and keeps me warm at night) back to my sister, quitting all semblances of a job or looking for a job, and making plans to go places where I don't even speak the language (or maybe haven't even eaten their food!!). It's all slightly overwhelming when I think about it too much.

But C.S. Lewis was right. I'm afraid that if I stay here, I'll stagnate. I won't make the changes in the world that I know I'm capable of. This travel, this experience, this throwing of myself out of my comfort zone will be good for me in the long run. I'll gain valuable abilities (I mean, really, how many people can ask for a bathroom in 12 different languages?!?), while, hopefully, having a grand ol' time and maybe even finding "myself." A friend put it to me this way today: "there are so many people who just stay with something because it's comfortable...you are challenging that comfort and i am proud of you for that...you're not settling." That really hit home...and made me appreciate that much more the friends I've made while here. Just for the record, you're never the reason I had to leave. I'll miss you all more than you (and probably even I) know.

And with that, good night. I have vaccines tomorrow...

Lace